The Book of Tommy J.

Millenial Gynetheology

Three Vampire Goddesses rule existence here on this diminutive planet routed around a yellow dwarf of a star on the outer spirals of a decidedly rural galaxy. The three are sisters ever hunting together. A pair of twins named Irony and Black Humor and a dominant sibling whose name can be whispered with impunity only by the inexorable winds of eternity. For She is Luck. Humans loudly and profanely brandish Her name at the slightest provocation. That's the way She likes it for the Vampire Goddesses must feed. They subsist on that most dependable by-product of sentience: Perversity. The more richly woven the contradictory threads of perversity's cloth, the finer the feast. That's why They made humans.

The above excerpt is a warning. Take a deep breath and don your literary track shoes for whatever faults ol' Tommy J. may have had, dithering wasn't one of them.